the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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