census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
