'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
