My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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