new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
