just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
