A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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