You're my little dorito
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
