it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
