How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
