A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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