im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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