Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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