What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
