i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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