I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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