I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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