the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
