Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
