dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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