There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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