yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
