is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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