better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?