Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.

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  (717): Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does. http://tfl.nu/07b3
  Replies (34) Good night (2276) Bad night (1240)
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  (831): View more from California

  Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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  (831): Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21? http://tfl.nu/gpnq
  Replies (37) Good night (6752) Bad night (1260)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster

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  (303): and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster http://tfl.nu/9o1b
  Replies (14) Good night (1015) Bad night (4112)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.

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  (617): your philanthropy is ruining my sex life. http://tfl.nu/l4rt
  Replies (7) Good night (904) Bad night (2457)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.

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  (727): i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats. http://tfl.nu/tu2s
  Replies (17) Good night (4605) Bad night (1615)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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  (281): Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have. http://tfl.nu/1d5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3679) Bad night (552)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (15) Good night (1812) Bad night (984)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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  (217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (470)
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  (914): View more from New York

  ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore

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  (914): ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore http://tfl.nu/u5mc
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (525)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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  (519): I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vv54
  Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (493)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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  (250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk
  Replies (11) Good night (403) Bad night (865)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.

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  (517): Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair. http://tfl.nu/ga23
  Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (334)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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  (970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er
  Replies (9) Good night (1707) Bad night (706)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say

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  (416): She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say http://tfl.nu/mu9a
  Replies (13) Good night (469) Bad night (1599)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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  (270): I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night... http://tfl.nu/q37f
  Replies (6) Good night (452) Bad night (1036)

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