o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life