Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
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she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL