I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap