There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me