Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?