hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
