Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
