my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
