Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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