Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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