So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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