we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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