I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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