There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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