Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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