If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize