so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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