I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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