After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
MIDGETS
????
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
