Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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