Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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