i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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