...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
