tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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