i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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