go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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