Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So here I am, sexting at work.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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