Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
