garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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