Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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