ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
