So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
