Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
