the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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