Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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