hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
