so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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