k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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