Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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