After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
