He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I will pee on everything he values.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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