She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
