Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
