Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex on a dog bed..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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