I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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