About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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