Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
