took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize