I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
