So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
