So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
