before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
