I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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